Saturday, July 02, 2016

OF SUICIDE AND METAMORPHOSIS

For The Bohol Tribune
In This Our Journey
NESTOR MANIEBO PESTELOS

This week will be one not quite easy to forget due to the message it brings about death and rebirth, of suicide and metamorphosis. It’s one of those weeks that builds  one’s capacity to hope and persevere despite sufferings and uncertainties.

First was the news about a priest ending his life by hanging himself.  I felt something within me wanting to die, too, upon hearing the news from an early morning radio program broadcast live globally through the web. It must be a feeling shared by Filipinos who were listening in several countries in varying time zones.

I have heard of previous suicide cases in Bohol but this one is most shocking because it involves someone who is supposed to be a source of hope in times of distress. As soon as I heard the news, I posted it on Facebook at 9.10 a.m. on Tuesday, 28 June.
In that post, I noted: “First time I heard a case of a priest committing suicide. This seems to indicate the need for counselling services to be available. A priest is supposed to be a source of hope. What led him to kill himself?”
It was announced that there would be an official statement to be issued by the Diocese of Tagbilaran. Meanwhile, I preoccupied myself reading comments on my post which came within the hour after posting, something like a knee-jerk response to the shocking news.  
From Sydney, Australia, Belen Mendoza writes:

 “I've worked and lived with priests and nuns for many years, 36 years to be exact. It doesn't make me an expert on how to handle them but it allows us to communicate with them to ease the challenges in their vocation/mission.

“I hope with what happened, it will open our eyes and minds to be a little kinder and supportive to their noble mission. I think, we Filipinos, put our priests in pedestals. As such, they try to live from our expectations that they try to be perfect in our eyes.

“They are humans,too, like us. They are messengers of God, delivering His Word for us so that with His Word OUR JOY MAY BE COMPLETE! They are not God.  ( i hope this does not sound like a homily. ) Priests do choose their own confessor that they are comfortable with. For the lack of a confessor, they need an ear who will listen and a shoulder they can lean on. This is where lay people like us can help especially when they are thousands of miles away from family. Let us pray for his soul.”

From San Diego, California, Naomi JD Esguerra Saboura has this to say:

Hi Nestor, like what Lolabee said, priests are humans too. He must have been suffering from some form of mental illness, most likely severe depression. Depression, like diabetes, is a disease; a disease of the brain. It is treatable but not curable.

“While not all people suffering from depression are suicidal, it is the leading cause of suicide. Priests, nuns, doctors, scientists, etc are not immune from mental illness. People with mental illness hide their problem because of the stigma associated with it.

“In our parish here in San Diego, we have a mental health ministry. The goal is to eradicate the stigma of mental illness, through education. We provide community resources, spiritual support and prayers to those who seek our help. Pls update & post..I will share this with our ministry. Let's pray for the repose of his soul, and for those he left behind, esp his family. They must be in pain.”

Naomi says in another post: “Here is the statistics in the US: 1 out of 4 people suffer from depression. In the past 2-3 years we have 2 suicide [cases] in our parish, and they are Filipino parishioners.”

Rodolfo C. Kintanar, former classmate and class 1987 president at the Asian Institute of Management, commented:  “There was a conflict he could not resolve except through self-destruction. Nes. Too bad nobody was able to reach out to him. But then God has a reason for allowing it to happen.”

 In response to him, I said: “Our social workers and psychologist must be able to look deeper into this case. First time in my life I heard of such a case.”

He replied: “There are other ways of suicide Nes. Running into a head on collision with another vehicle. Or disappearing at sea. Look at it this way: Heaven needed the priest immediately. God's ways are many and strange.”  Ah, OK, something like dark humor, but it was an effort to ease the pain.

Fr. Fernando Po, fellow advocate against drug abuse, says: “unfathomable... unthinkable. Irreconcilable ... unreasonable! I knew Fr. Mar... he was my student in the college seminary ... quiet & unassuming... humble & simple! everything now is between him & god! the human side of him ruled over his life... satan did it... can i say that?”

Megg Borja, who works at Raffles & Co. in Quezon City, says: “We all need a lot of unconditional caring.”

Rene Francisco, CEO of FITWBK Chemical Dependency Center in Laya, Baclayon has this to say: “Thru my experience with helping people I came across three priests, one from Scotland and two Pilipinos...they all said one of the biggest problem of priests is extreme loneliness...depression can trigger self-destruction.”

Al Palomar, literary critic based in Norman, Oklahoma, has this theory: “The priest needs our compassion. Celibacy has never been good for anyone ---priests or no priest. Not healthy either because it could also trigger prostate cancer. It would work only if priests were also eunuchs.”

Dody Aspiras from Fremont, California opines: “The priest's suicide could have been triggered by dementia with lewy bodies, the disease that drove Robin Williams to his death, also by suicide - an uncontrollable urge.”

Lex Librero, retired professor from UP Los Banos, says: “It’s strange to me.” OMG, says Delia Velez Realista from Cagayan de Oro City. Lolita Castañeda-Ayaay of Antipolo City says: “May Jesus by his great mercy have forgiven the poor parish priest.”  “Sad,” says Leila Manding-Café of Albur, Bohol.

Teresita Crisogono from Las Vegas and Marlene Paje Rodriguez, former NEDA Director for Region 7 both shared suspicion there might be foul play. The police however confirmed it to be suicide, not murder.

Rene Eune Pueblos Ponte from Loon, Bohol says, “Our prayers!”, while Rosalinda Maguan Monsanto Sumicad  a nurse from Newcastle upon Thyne, England, has this to say: “The Lord God is the Supreme & Ultimate Judge for all of us... may he rest in peace ' Sir Nestor Maniebo Pestelos....our sympathy to the bereaved family & friends & the church too...”

I received a record 49 likes and comments in a little more than an hour, indicating keen interest and high level of sympathy for the priest who took his own life. Sources said that he had been suffering from colon cancer and the pain must have driven him to take his own life.

The pain must have been so great that it overwhelmed his faith, which considers suicide as sin. It has to be considered, too, that not all who suffer from colon cancer resort to suicide. A local paper reported an excerpt from the official statement from the Diocese of Tagbilaran:

“This sad incident might have shaken the faith of some of our brothers and sisters, but we pray that the grace of God will turn this mourning into a profound experience of faith and a more intimate personal relationship with God. With God’s mercy and guidance, we resolve to strengthen our solidarity anchored on love, humility, and compassion—the Priesthood of Christ,” said [Bishop] Medroso.

I did a little bit of research in the internet and I found that the Philippines has still the lowest suicide rate in Asia:

Suicides per 100,000 people per year

  1. South Korea (28.9)
  2. Japan (18.5)
  3. Myanmar (13.1)
  4. Thailand (11.4)
  5. Cambodia (9.4)
  6. Laos (8.8)
  7. China (7.8)
  8. Singapore (7.4)
  9. Brunei (6.4)
  10. Vietnam (5)
  11. Indonesia (4.3)
  12. Malaysia (3)
  13. Philippines (2.9)

The World  Health Organization (WHO) reported however that somebody commits suicide every 40 seconds.

For the past years, according to the report, suicide rates all over the world have risen, including in the Philippines. Data from the National Statistics Office noted that in the Philippines, the suicide rate from 1984 to 2005 went up from 0.46 to seven out of every 200,000 men; up from 0.24 to two for every 200,000 women. 

While the figures might seem insignificant compared with those from neighboring countries that recorded the highest suicide rates, the increase in numbers is noticeably high.

It is a common misconception that suicides are a Western and developed country phenomena. The truth is, it is  a major global health problem that occurs in every part of the world.

The WHO analyzed 10 years of research and data on suicide from around the world, involving 172 countries. It was found out that:

  • Around 800,000 people kill themselves every year.
  • Southeast Asia made up over a third of the annual rate.
  • It was the 15th leading cause of death for 2012 all over the world; second among  young people, aged 15 to 29.
  • Those over 70 were the most likely to take their own lives.
  • Seventy five percent of global suicide occurred in low- and middle-income countries in 2012.
  • In richer countries, three times as many men as women die by suicide.
  • The most suicide-prone countries were Guyana (44.2 per 100,000), followed by North and South Korea (38.5 and 28.9 respectively).
  • The most frequently used methods globally are pesticide poisoning, hanging and firearms, but jumping from buildings is a common method in highly urbanized areas in Asia.

In Bohol, there was the high-profile case of a young father shooting to death his wife and two sons inside their burning care before committing suicide. There were unconfirmed reports of young people committing suicide due to drug abuse, depression and other causes. It’s about time an in-depth study be undertaken of these cases as basis for counselling in schools, offices, churches and clinics. We need to get the hotline we can call in case we suspect that somebody seems to be on the verge of committing suicide.

Lack of communication with someone who can listen has been cited in some studies as the reason for suicide cases.

Despite the gloom brought about by the suicide of the parish priest of Loboc, the week has brightened up with the proclamation of the 16th President of the Philippines, former Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. True to his word, the whole nation saw his “metamorphosis,”  his own word, from a foul-mouthed local executive to somebody we all can respect, not only by the 16 million Filipinos who voted for him, but by the entire country.

I think the whole nation agrees with the editorial of the country’s number 1 newspaper, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, in its July 1 issue, which says that “by the end of his stirring inaugural address, there were more people rooting for him”

Indeed on the first hour of his Presidency, the new head of state has succeeded to show he has transformed himself into a leader with a vision valid and broad enough to unite us all against the evils of crime and illegal drugs, as well as corruption in the government.

Truly the week has been a journey from grief brought about by the suicide of a priest to a celebration of hope in the transformation of a new leader with potential to unite us to build a stronger and more prosperous  Philippines. For comments, email npestelos@gmail.com ###

NMP/2 July 2016/12.01 a.m.


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