Isabel's Letter

Here is a letter from Isabel Losloso-Rivera, a close friend and former classmate from Class 58 of the old Quezon Provincial High School in Lucena City. It was emailed last 26 Dec 06 to another classmate and close friend, Milwida Sevilla-Reyes, and forwarded to me the same day. As I read it, I was struck by Isa’s honesty, genuine concern for family, most especially her apo, Jayden, her account of how it was to live in America, and on the whole, her reflection about her role in the family. These are the stuff that make great literature – they focus on the particular and relatively small events, and yet they succeed in another level of consciousness to address universal themes. Isa has given me pemission to publish her email in our website to share it to a broader audience; yes, even in one’s family, you can be a change agent, a development worker.

The letter is printed here unedited, straight from Isa’s heart. The only thing we contributed was the paragraphing:

drinking coffee is something i did not embrace here in america. in the phil., i was drinking cocoa. i remember when all the brothers/sisters/parents came one by one -- they were disappointed not to find coffee in our household. i stayed pretty much the same here in america. and that's one of my wisdoms that i find myself repeating to my mom, brothers & sisters & when i do i find them yawning, leaving the room. adding to that statement that america has so much to offer, that if you are not engrained w/ good values/virtues you will end up embracing the wrong ones left astray.

i am witness how my own families fall from them. just like my mother,irene, elmer they became addicted to gambling then --- going to reno behind my back but all these really never escaped me 'cause i have friends/acquaintances who repeated seeing them.. my mom would even tell me when i told her about it," nanay, why do you have to go to reno -- para kang may santong sinasamba duon hindi mo naman ginagawa ito sa pilipinas,why do you have to start?." and my mom will retaliate saying: "why worry, hindi naman pera mo ang ginagastos ko."

now, whenever my nanay got greeted by her grandkids, they usually jokingly, say, "how's reno." i said to myself, thanks goodness that's something i do not want my kids/grandkids to remember me by. sometimes,in exasperation i would say" why, i am just the daughter, why do i have to be the parent to you."

come to think of it, that's the role i played all my life to my family,agonizing at their falls,rejoicing at their victories even rejoicing at insignificant ones. or should it be rejoicing too, at their falls because from them their inner self will get better & in the end,good is victorious over evil.

it's already monday, i am still feeling the effect of that coffee -- we went home past 11 pm from our family's x'mas party at jennie. my mom, nana pacita & myself were playing w/ jayden after my son, cesar&phoenix left earlier for antioch & joel for home. we seldom are together w/ my mom, so we made sure that there that's group picture taken. it was raining since 12 noon of christmas,even as we came home.

i always relay to my mom everything that jayden does/did, so my mom has enough time to witness all of them last nite. in the side of my eyes, i also witnessed how cesar took care of phoenix -- bringing him to the johns -- phoenix was well dress(matching pa) & carried it well too,changing his clothes to sleeping pajamas complete w/ one of a kind disneyland slipper before boarding his van back to antioch (my plan to go w/ him got axed as he said he already have plans for that day),protective of jayden (his baby cousin,his word) -- if he goes by the door, he runs toward the door w/ his hands stretched as a barrier. he was so suplado earlier in the evening as he awoke from his slumber but warmed up later on.

it was not hard for us to get his hug at nagmano pa kay nanay (learned fr. maternal grandparents/g.g.(?). gg stands for great grandma. that's how nanay is addressed here too. from downstairs, i can hear them laughing/making funs of poses in jennie's family album,etc., phoenix/jayden racing to the stairs,door,x/mas lites,w/ the latter touching anything his hands can lay on,passing/scurrying from one room to another, downstairs,uptairs -- never still parang "kiti-kiti."

phoenix was showing us all the punches, jumps of a karate kid from all the videos/tvs he watched & what struck me was his words that his dad was the best (because of my senior moment, i forgot what we were talking about).

for their take home, i packed several plates of pansit, tamales, turkey meat,mashed potatoe & stuffing. if anything else i will be remembered for my famous good/delicious turkey cooking (see jennie invitation). w/ almost 20 years cooking it, i have perfected it having read /watch in tv all the secrets thereat to produce one. allan, a man who like the rest of his family, knows a good/fine food when he tastes one, commented that he wants to know all of my secrets, and jennie had always rated mine on top of allan's mom and all the turkey that she had eaten in her life.

jayden is well loved. any baby is not hard to love. there's not enough of jayden for jennie&allan & i already dread the time in 2 more years when "boyhood" will pretty soon engulf :"babyhood."

nestor, just like when senior moments takes over our junior moments.mil read nestor's latest entry in his blog. i got disappointed, because i already added my private message & got erased & i cannot retreive it. i was trying to rewrite it again but senior moments took over, i cannot rewrite it. goodbye junior moments, hello, senior moments.